As we've said before, being a lawyer is a people business.

There are many people you will interact with whom you will need to influence, cajole, win over, convince, and otherwise get along with. It may be a client, a potential client, a senior partner, opposing counsel, or a colleague.

Keep in mind that even if we look to one “client,” it may involve many different people at the client with different personalities and agendas. For example, lawyers working in the nonprofit world have many stakeholders who may not be an official client but still look to the lawyer in the room for the answers, regardless of her subject matter of expertise. Such stakeholders include donors, staff members, community-based partners, or those receiving services from the underlying organization.

Lawyers are trustworthy and should bring a levelheadedness that makes most involved believe everything is going to be okay. Are those stakeholders necessarily just looking for answers to legal questions? Absolutely not. But as in most instances involving lawyers, people typically seek calm guidance and reassurance that things will work out or at least become untangled in a manageable fashion. Being a lawyer means bringing armchair psychology to your practice. If you don't know what that means, then just remember to stay calm and always look to take anxiety out of a situation, not add to it.

There are two schools of thought when it comes to these dynamics, and they are well summed up by two of the better-known songwriters of the twentieth century: Bob Dylan and John Lennon. One mused that “everyone has to serve somebody” while the other retorted with “you gotta serve yourself.” So which notion is the right one? As any good lawyer would answer when asked, “It depends.” You've got to figure out a way to do both, however, if you'd like to ensure both short-term and long-term success. In the short term, it's all about the client. But while that sprint is important, the longer-term marathon will make your self-focus more vital. We'll dive into this in Chapter 19, “How to be a Happy Lawyer.”

When we were thinking of writing this chapter, we went out to our network to solicit advice and feedback. One friend, Dave Beran, told us he had always wanted to write a book on this subject. So, we did what any good authors would do: we asked him to guest write this chapter. Dave is a multi-time general counsel and has always been the calmest person in the room from what we've seen. In fact, we wish we had more of his demeanor and less of ours when it comes to some situations. Dave came back with incredible advice that we adapted to the flow of the book. Thank you, Dave.