TIP 6 Use verbs instead of nominalizations.

Watch out for verbs that have mutated into nouns. These words are called nominalizations, which are former verbs that have devolved into nouns or gerunds.¹⁴ These words consistently drain vitality from prose.

Look at the italicized nominalizations in this example:

There was not a signing of a contract with ZYX to commence the production of widgets, but that fact does not prevent the binding of the parties based on the actions that occurred later.

Notice how much more easily you can absorb the sentence when you convert the nominalizations back into verbs and specify who is acting:

CBA agreed to make widgets for ZYX, but those two parties did not sign a contract. Under state law, however, the oral agreement binds both parties because of how they subsequently acted.

Good writers train themselves to eradicate most nominalizations. These words often end in -tion, -ence, -ing, -ent, or -ess, so shun the -tion, dispense with -ence, ding the -ing, and so on. But other nominalizations are stealthier, so try to convert into a verb most nouns that obscure an actor’s identity. The word “of” and the verb “to be” (and variations of that verb like “is” and “was”) often mark the presence of nominalizations. For instance, “The goal of the legislature was to prevent waste” could be changed to “Congress wanted to ensure that the military wastes less money.”

Nominations, however, have some valid uses. For instance, it’s fine to use legal terms of art that contain nominalizations: “Defendant filed a motion to dismiss is an acceptable alternative to “Defendant moved to dismiss the case.” And sometimes you’ll want to hide the actor’s identity, such as when your client committed an “unlawful interrogation” or “a violation.” Thus, it’s much better to say “no one was hurt during the robbery” than “no one was hurt when my client robbed the bank.” Use nominalizations to obscure your client’s misdeeds. Similarly, you might use a nominalization to summarize what you just discussed, as in this example: “Jane paid Juan. This payment.... ”

These narrow exceptions, however, don’t change the general principle: avoid nominalizations.

Remember that present participles look like gerunds, but they are perfectly good words, as in this example: “The client paid the bill, acknowledging that her lawyers had provided superb legal services.” Present participles act like verbs. But the same word — “acknowledging” — acts as a nominalization in this sentence, which contains three nominalizations: “The acknowledging of the client that the provision of services was superb led it to make payment on the bill.” Most top writers would remove the nominalizations from that sentence.